One of the days in the month of June, a friend came to my office to discuss the boot camp we were putting together for teenagers. As we deliberated, we digressed into what has become scarier than we probably ever imagined. PORNOGRAPHY & TEENAGE SEX. Within 20 minutes, she had shown me several mobile apps and even a website where one could have ONLINE SEX.

Such a web game, like FUCK TOYS, which allows you choose a sex mate, his/her hair colour, size of breasts, size of butts, and skin colour, JUST TO HAVE SEX ONLINE is not only intimidating; it is also a cause for parents to decide whether we have not become TOO BUSY MAKING MONEY to know that the internet is actively recruiting our wards into a future of doom and calamity. I have not recovered from that exposure. Imagine the impact on your child?

If the way your children (or the children you know) are handling digital devices (phones, tabs, iPad, laptops, etc.) does not give you concern, then you are already lost from the beginning.

Recently, I heard of a young boy in a school in Ikoyi who felt demoralized that his ‘usually first position’ in class has been usurped by a seemingly brighter girl and his best strategy was to contemplate bathing her in acid?

You see, I still believe that most children are a MIRROR of their Parents or Guardians or Minders or Teachers. CHILDREN LEARN FROM US.

You have multiple children and you are not even aware you’ve taken sides with one to the detriment of the others.

Your child drops the ball in assignments and school work and the first thing that comes to your mind is to shame the child.

Your child is dealing with fears of not fitting in or feeling out of place and your usual response is to say HE WILL OUTGROW IT.

Parents, which of us did not go through the pressures of peer pressure, inordinate desires and several youthful vices? So what is the reason why we pay a blind eye to our own children’s challenges?

We forget that how we came off these pressures is not how they may do same?

If you do not know how to handle them, what if you sought more knowledge and be informed? What if you JUST BEFRIEND THIS CHILD AND GET INTO THEIR PRESSURES SO AS TO DISPEL THEM?

What if?
What if??
What if???

The next time you are tempted to smack your child, send him/her to the naughty corner or even be aggressive towards them, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How current am I with the trends of child behaviours and teen behaviours?
  2. In what ways am I open to learning about the trends and changes that are happening in the world of these children?
  3. How flexible am I to accommodate the dispensational changes as well as making minimal adaptations to understand these changes?
  4. What do I need to know and who is the person (or persons) that can help me know?
  5. What groups, associations and organizations must I align with to increase my sense of awareness?

 

If you determine to become a better parent, it is doable. Start today.

 

Sam Obafemi

President, SOBCA

@sobafemi | @SOBCAonline